January 22, 2009

Yogi's First Christmas... Piece of Bad News

...Drum it into him! Get it? GET IT? OK so yesterday's joke still isn't funny.

The Fifth Minute... News! News! News!

Inside the Jellystone Lodge, the gang wonder why there is nobody about. Ranger Smith tells them that Mr. Dingwell has "some good news and some bad news". Don't know why Dingwell couldn't have told them that himself but I guess you need to have Ranger Smith jiberring on about something or other. Come to think of it Mr. Dingwell doesn't even get a first name in the film so it's not like he should get a line. Doesn't seem fair. I wonder what Mr. Dingwell's first name is? Dave? Dave Dingwell? Does that sound right? No. Not really. George Dingwell. Doesn't really look like a George. Actually what does he look like? Cyril? Cedric? Johnson? That guy who lives in your street who possibly could be described as "quiet... kept himself to himself". John? Deborah? Frank? Charlie? Actually, Frank's not a bad name. Frank Dingwell. Sounds like a hotel manager to me. A quick search on Wikipedia reveals that Dingwell "is a Scottish name but of Viking origin." As a Scot who has lived in Scotland all their life, I can tell you that I don't think I've ever come across anyone named Dingwell but it's possibly more common the further north you go. I guess they all live in hotels half way up mountains and talk to animals. I googled the name and came up with Chris Dingwell, an artist who appears to do some delightfully gruesome but absolutely beautiful work, Jonathan B. Dingwell, Ph.D., an Assistant Professor at The University of Texas at Austin and Joyce Dingwell, a romance novelist to name but three Dingwells. There is also, of course, Dingwall, which by all accounts is a lovely place on the Cromarty Firth but I digress.

Mr. Dingwell (now, Frank) announces that his bad news is that "this may be the last Christmas we spend here." Of course, this is terrible news for everyone except Doggie Daddy who as we have previously heard has plenty of "Christmas hang outs" as backup. Dingwell says that they're planning to build a freeway over this mountain. Ehm, wait a second. Isn't it kind of illegal to build through a national park? I guess the fictional Jellystone could have different laws but this all seems a bit fishy. Frank explains some more. "They can't build a freeway unless the owner, Mrs. Throckmorton, sells the lodge to them." Woah there... freeways are one thing but what on earth is a Throckmorton. It sounds like... well I don't know what it sounds like. A quick search on Wikipedia and Google reveals that it's not uncommon. Where the hell are all these Throckmortons and Dingwells? I guess they're all hanging about together in national parks. When you think about it "Throckmortons and Dingwells" sounds like some kind of strange Ye Olde English drink. Sort of like Dandelion and Burdock for highwaymen.

"What can I get you, Mr. Turpin?"
"Well, kind sir, I'd like some of your finest 'Throckmortons and Dingwells'!"
"Alas, we're out of T&D. Deliveries in this area are scarce at best, what with all the crime on the roads these days..."

Mrs Throckmorton is thinking of selling the lodge because of all the weird things that happened last year. She's obviously not the greatest at marketing of hotels since any other hotel owner would probably just advertise the hotel as haunted to attract not only the Halloween visitor but also every gullible fool with money to waste. Then again perhaps I am being cynical and she is actually honest. Ranger Smith says that it's because it has put off customers and this year they have virtually nobody staying. Still, at least they've got Snagglepuss. As the gang get told about the weird things happening last year Augie pops his head out of the drum. Yes he's still in the drum. The group have obviously carried him in. They wouldn't help him off the snowmobile with the drum but they are willing to carry him in it. Anything for a moment of slapstick, I guess. You really have to worry about the well-being of Augie. Doggie Daddy seems to spend a lot of time thinking about himself. Augie gets carried about in a broken drum. Daddy - living it up. Augie - living in a drum. Daddy - little to worry about. Augie - little drummer boy.

What about the good news, I hear you ask? Frank tells us "Mrs. Throckmorton will be here for the final Christmas carnival week" Nobody told me about a carnival...